What Does It Take To Truly Change?

What I let go of, what I'm still discovering, and a cup of cardamom hot cocoa to keep me grounded

Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash

Each January brings a promise, a moment to pause, reflect, and embrace the possibility of change. But this year feels different, as if the changes I’ve experienced over the last few decades have crystallized into something deeply significant. Recently, someone close to me suggested that my transformation is just a product of where I live and the people I’m around. It struck me as odd, this need to chalk up my slow evolution of heart and mind to outside influences. In that moment, I realized he didn’t understand the true reason for my change, nor what it takes to step away from the familiar collective in which I was raised.

“Growth happens when we pay attention, when we listen, when we observe.”

Yes, our environment and relationships shape us, that’s true. But real change, the kind that shifts the ground beneath us, takes courage. It’s not enough to be surrounded by new ideas. We have to wrestle with our own, our own beliefs, the stories we tell ourselves, and the truths we’ve held onto for so long. And let’s be honest, that’s terrifying.

To challenge everything we once believed to be true means stepping into the unknown, risking the loss of comfort, certainty, and sometimes those we love. It’s easier to stay within the safety of like-minded circles, but it’s those moments of discomfort, when we engage with differing perspectives, that truly stretch us. They force us to question, to confront, to grow.

Winter on the Pacific Coast

For the first half of my life, I clung tightly to convictions that felt unshakable. But over time, those beliefs began to feel confining, small, narrow-minded, and lacking the compassion and humanity I had always valued. They seemed blind to the diversity of human experiences, and my empathetic heart eventually couldn’t reconcile living with such limited understanding and acceptance. My beliefs felt borrowed, like echoes of someone else’s truth, not born of my own thoughts or the truths I hold closest to my heart.

This journey has taught me something profound: some people are so steeped in generations of unyielding beliefs, whether shaped by religion, culture, or both, that they lose the ability to change, to view the world through a different lens, or to question the narratives they’ve long accepted. But reclaiming that ability, the courage to challenge deeply ingrained ideas and embrace the complexity of human experience, is where transformation truly begins.

“We can’t become what we need to be by remaining what we are.” – Oprah Winfrey

This bravery isn’t without its weight. Change often brings moments of sadness, as we let go of the familiar and step into the unknown. But I’ve learned to sit with the sadness, not fight it, because within it lies a profound gratitude. Gratitude for life. Gratitude for the ability to change and to imagine the possibilities that lie ahead. Gratitude for the love that surrounds me, for my family, my siblings, my friends, and for the many moments that make up this imperfect, beautiful life.

“Change isn’t about finding certainty, it’s about embracing the journey, even when it’s messy, uncomfortable, and uncertain.”

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In the quiet moments of my contemplation, I find myself drawn to the small comforts that ground me. It’s often something simple, a warm drink in my hands, and its aroma wrapping me in a sense of calm. There’s something about the ritual of preparing a cup of cocoa, infused with the exotic, fragrant warmth of cardamom, that feels both grounding and uplifting. It’s a reminder that even in the midst of change, we can find moments of solace and joy.

This Cardamom Hot Cocoa is one of those small joys, comfort in a cup, a fragrant embrace that soothes the soul and awakens the senses. I hope you’ll enjoy this recipe as much as I do, whether as a companion to your own musings or as a simple indulgence on a quiet winter day.

Love, Light and Peace, Karista

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Cardamom Hot Cocoa

From the cookbook, The Oregon Farm Table Cookbook by Karista Bennett

Serves 2

Ingredients

• 4 ounces of your favorite chocolate, chopped (I prefer 45-55% semi-sweet chocolate)

• 2 cups whole milk (or milk of choice)

• 2 tablespoons granulated sugar or your choice of sweetener

• 2 green cardamom pods, crushed so the seeds are exposed

• Whipped cream and chocolate shavings for garnish.

Directions

1. In a small saucepan, heat the milk over low heat. As it begins to warm add the cardamom pods and the chocolate. Stirring, bring the milk, just to a simmer, about 180F. You don’t want it to boil. Once tiny bubbles form around the edges of the pan and the chocolate is melted, remove it from the heat and let it sit for a minute or two covered.

2. Strain the hot chocolate into two mugs and top with fresh whipped cream or chocolate shavings. Serve immediately.

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