The Ones I Chose

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When my oldest daughter, Alexandria, was five years old, she asked me a question.

“Mom, how did you know you wanted me?”

I remember that moment vividly, even now, 29 years later. It caught me off-guard, as many of her questions did. But this one felt different. There was something in her face, so sincere, expectant and waiting.

My heart did a subtle skip, and I knew I wanted to respond with equal sincerity. She needed the right answer at that one moment. A moment suspended in truth and love, one that would stay with her for the rest of her life.

My heart raced, my brain searched for the right words, poignant yet honest, and I said the first thing that came to my mind.

“Well,” I said, stalling a little while I gathered my words. “One day, all the little angel babies in the universe lined up in a row, so cute and smiling. I looked at each sweet face and then, all of a sudden, I saw you. And I said, I want that one! I just knew. You were the baby for me.”

She smiled, threw her arms around my neck, giggled a little, and pulled back to look at me. “Really?”

“Really.”

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The Ones I Chose

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Now, years later, my youngest daughter, Amelia, and I have been working on a poetry book, revising, rewriting, letting it take the shape it chooses. And in writing this book, I found myself reflecting on motherhood. Not just the challenges, but all the memories. And somewhere in that remembering, I understood. It’s not just what I gave to my children, but what they gave to me.

I’m sharing the poem below in honor of Mother’s Day.

For me, Mother’s Day has always been about the women in my life who shaped who I am now. Women who passed through my life leaving their impressions of wisdom, knowledge, love and friendship. Dear aunties who have been salves for my heart. And of course, my own daughters, the ones I chose.

Wishing you always, Peace, Love, & Light,

Karista

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The Ones I Chose

by Karista Bennett

I used to tell Alexandria

that all the little angel babies

were lined up in a row,

and when I looked down the line

I saw her —

and just knew.

I want that one.

And so it was with Amelia too,

the universe arranging souls like stars in a particular sky,

saying these two, they were always meant to be yours.

They arrived already knowing me. Both of them gazing deeply into my eyes at birth, as if to say — I’m here. Let the adventures begin.

I was never allowed to be myself

until I found my way out

of the silence and the secrets.

So from the very beginning

I made a quiet, fierce promise,

my daughters would know

exactly who they were

and be loved for every bit of it.

An earth fairy with mud on her knees

and the heartbeat of the forest in her chest.

A mermaid with stardust in her pen

and the poetry of the ocean in her soul.

Different as sky and sea,

and both of them

so completely,

unapologetically

themselves.

They taught me more than I taught them.

They opened my eyes,

challenged me to grow,

showed me who I really was

by being so fully

who they are.

I have never known a love

with such a tether,

such a thread,

pulling so deeply

it lives in my bones.

And now —

Amelia holds Charlotte,

and I watch the awe

move across her face

like light across water,

and I remember.

I remember that exact awe,

the first time

I looked at each of them.

The adventure beginning.

The soul already known.

The universe, once again,

lining up the angels and whispering

that one.